Hey brothers and sisters, this is just something I'd like to share (some of it fictional but his quotes are factual) about our brother Alex. The following is a profile essay I did about Alex.
I had just gotten a seat at the couch in Starbucks and within minutes, a shadow of a figure sauntered towards me. He does not cut the figure of a guy who hits the gym regularly but rather, he possesses a 'prosperous' look because of a rather rotund figure. Dressed in a uniquely designed T-shirt by Graniph and jeans, along with a comfortable pair of sandals, his body language oozed confidence and joy. The most striking detail of his dressing had to be that pair of reflective shades that covered his eyes while revealing his smile. As he finally settled down, he made sure that I was seated comfortably. I first got to know this guy as Instructor Potato.

You might not know Alex Tan Kai Hao yet; however, the chances are likely that you would know a friend who knows of his existence. This was highlighted particularly when someone came out of the blue to offer their salutations to Alex who reciprocated by smiling back. As he would put forth his thoughts, “Chances are that you would know who I am but I might not know you yet.” He continued explaining that I would know in due course why he had made such a contradictory statement.

Alex said, “I would describe myself a someone who is out-going, always willing to make new friends. I'm also always willing to lend a listening ear to my friends. There are times, I may even treat my friends better than my family, which is something I can be guilty of.” As I continued my investigation into the source of his confidence, security and assuredness. He mentioned that he had a the gift of the gab which he felt was God-given and it had opened many different roads for him.

Speaking on that matter, he went on saying, “Regarding my 'gift', I feel that I can connect with almost anyone I meet during the first time, especially with kids. It's because I think I have the ability to bring myself to the opposite party's position and level, so as to be on the same 'frequency' as the opposite party. In this way, it really strengthens my interpersonal skills and allow me to impact others with my own life and to impart the right knowledge and values to others.” While I was curious about his recent experiences and history, he continued to share about his work. “I used to be a camp facilitator for leadership / adventure camps for kids ranging from primary school till tertiary education, and not forgetting corporate clients. I was trained to take care of kids for 3D2N or even 4D3N. I was also requited [sic] to impart important teamwork and leadership values onto them. Before that, I used to be a Motorola phone promoter, whereby I was trained to promote Motorola phones to prospective customers who want to buy them. In this way, I had a very rich knowledge about mobile phones in the industry, as it is required so as to make a comparison to other competing brands.” He continued saying, “If you can make shit and turn it into gold, you will be able to earn a hefty income from the commissions to be made.”

As we ventured deeper into the various methods of approach he would take towards different people, he went on to say, “I will firstly put myself in the person's shows[sic], so as to understand the perspective that the person is having. This way, I will be able to understand better why the person reacts like this or do certain stuff. By doing that, I will be able to use different approaches to different kinds of people. In fact, every human is born unique; thus every single person I meet requires a unique approach, which can be pretty exciting at times.”

Shifting away from the current topic, I decided to try to find out more about his interests, aspirations and personal achievements. In the end, he is no more than just the ordinary man you would see along our streets as he continued to reveal more about himself. He reminisced that, “I did not have any particular personal achievements, but I feel that the 2.5 years whereby I was a camp facilitator, which I did 40 camps for High Achievers, to me is a very remarkable achievement as I had dealt with so many different kinds of kids, and left an impression in so many lives. Through this experience, I was able to sharpen my interpersonal skills and also be more confident as a person and be more out-going.” About what he does with his leisure time, he revealed that, “I love to watch TV, play beach frisbee and listening to songs on my iPOD as well as driving (especially at night) plus collecting pin badges.” When we moved on to the topic about his ambition, he mentioned, “I want to be able to have a career that impacts lives, especially with regards to kids. In addition, I also hope to be able to drive my dream car; the BMW 3 Series Convertible.” When being asked why he wanted to pursue such a career path, he reasoned that, “It is because if the career I choose is for my own selfish gain, then it would be a meaningless career. Therefore, I would want to work in a career that will impact lives; whereby in this way, I can earn money to supplement myself and also change peoples' lives in the midst.”

Alex is part of a family of four and they live in a flat located in Pasir Ris. “I have a younger sister, dad and mum. I used to be not so close to my younger sister, but now, I try to forge stronger ties with her. My parents are very loving towards me, especially my mum.” This brought to his mind the people he had always looked up to when in search of a role model. He said that, “I look up to my parents especially, as from their way of handling the family and also their frugal spending habits that allowed them to retire at an earlier age as compared to normal people. That really made me aspire to be like them, so as to be able to manage a family well and retire early to enjoy life. My ideal lifestyle would be retired (need not work), driving my dream car, enjoying quality time with my family, living in a very nice and comfy home.”

After his sharing of experiences, I was curious about the events or circumstances that shaped him into the character that he was today and if there were any life-changing moments. He continued by saying, “I think the life-changing moment was when I decided to take the step of faith to become a Christian. I feel that I have become more patient towards people and I have learned to be more loving too. I also enjoy spending time with my spiritual family a.k.a my caregroup. I had a very blessed childhood, whereby I received lots of love from my parents and I did not need to worry about wether [sic] there would be enough food or a shelter to cover my head. This motivates me to be the opportunity for people to lead a life that is loving and fulfilling too, to have the same chance to go through what I did.”

As we approached the last bit of our conversation, Alex pondered and shared that, “I don't believe in re-doing or reliving any past moment, as it is already in the past and cannot be changed. Therefore, I believe that making the right choice is very important as there may be adverse consequences if a wrong decision is made. I'm not too worried about getting a job in such times considering I'm finishing up my last semester in SIM. I believe in my own capability, and as I'm prepared to accept a lower pay in such dark times, if I do get a job, I will just work first to gain experience. It's because when the economy recovers, my pay will go up accordingly. I'm just planning to ace my last semester, and also earn extra money during my work stint at Forest Adventure which is located at Bedok Reservoir Park. As for the planned family trip to Europe during the holidays, I will just let nature take its own course.”

When asked if his confidence was derived from his appearance and what his attitude towards relationships were, he responded by saying, “I believe in dressing up well, especially when it comes to formal presentations or special events. I will specially dress up for the occasion. However, one's confidence should not be placed entirely in the security of our appearance because our appearances change and fluctuate. Rather, our confidence should be derived from having a sense of identity and self which I believe I have found. My love life is not fantastic, with only 2 girlfriends. In the past, I had the mindset that once I know a girl who appeals to me, I will just go all out and chase her and not know the right perception towards dating, however, that has changed over time.”

Finally, when given the opportunity to represent himself with a subject or object, he explained the reason behind his choice, “I would use a potato to represent me as I've been using Potato as my nickname and apparently, it works well for my previous job as a camp facilitator.”

As some of Alex's friends would mention, Shawn, his brother-in-Christ shared that, “Alex to me is a very jovial person. If I need to use a word to describe him, it would be 'Catalyst'. This is because people around him will react faster with him and foster stronger relationships and bonds with him around. Li yi, a sister-in-Christ added that, “He looks really serious but when you know him better, he's a people-oriented person who is learning to be 'whine-free' as he continues to serve. A serving brother indeed.”

Perhaps, Alex himself summarized things completely when he said, “My friends say that I'm funny, outspoken and giving. My philosophy in life is that I believe IMPOSSIBLE is made up of 'I' 'M' 'POSSIBLE'! This way, I believe that nothing is impossible in this world and if one does not try, how would one know whether it will work or not?”

A lecturer in SIM, Dr Yaep, reacted to my question when I asked her if she knew Alex and she responded cheerfully saying, “Who wouldn't know Alex?”

Labels: Our Lives

 

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